Friday, September 21, 2007

Couple Caught Cheating: With Each Other!

Another story indicative of the sad state of marriage in our world today. It also illustrates the pervasiveness of the self serving idea that marriage is a means to satisfy ones needs.

A couple in Bosnia are divorcing after both of them struck up a relationship online with other people. They knew their online paramours only by their internet 'handles,' and were in for a rude awakening when each agreed to meet in person.

They arrived at the designated meeting point only to discover that their newly-found "soul mate" was none other than their spouse! Both have now filed for divorce, each accusing the other of being unfaithful.

Once the fog of irony subsides, however, this story illustrates a point I've made before. Marriage is a joint commitment, the success of which depends on the willingness of each party to sacrifice for the other. Too often men and women expect the other to be the first to sacrifice, thereby causing a stalemate in which neither will budge. This insistence on "I'll do this for you if you do this for me," which is touted by advice columnists everywhere is the height of selfishness. A better attitude is "I'll do this for you because I love you, whether or not I get anything for it."

I wonder if this couple could not have saved their marriage by putting each other first, instead of looking for their own satisfaction elsewhere. Alas, too many people in an unhappy marriage look elsewhere for the problem, when in fact the problem most likely resides in themselves.